Summit fever - Final Draft

May 4, 2002
The sun was rising over the ocean, softly granting the clouds an intense red color. The water was still asleep. A bird could be sighted over the horizon but that was it. There was nothing. only the cold grains of sand under my worn feet. Almost two years had passed since the night and still it haunted me. Every night it came creeping, I could feel the cold storm piercing right through my body, the black pyramid and Carl, alone in the roaring storm.

May 8, 1999
I was struggling upwards; a couple of meters ahead of me were Carl. It was close now; we were on the brink of achieving what we had dreamt of for so long, to stand on top of the world, to summit Everest. Above us was only its black face but the earlier so pale blue sky had darkened and clouds covered the horizon and blocked out the sun. We had been climbing for 12 hours straight and I could feel the body weakening for every small step I managed to take. The oxygen levels at this altitude was a merely third of what I was used to and together with the cold it made this the most unpleasant place on this rugged earth. Without supplementary oxygen one would easily perish here. I stopped for a moment in order to catch my breath, I lifted my head only to see Carl steadily heading for the top without showing any acute signs of tiredness like me, in fact he looked surprisingly strong and fresh. I was surprised since I was by far the most experienced climber of us already with another
eight-thousander on my CV, while he only had ascended some minor American peaks, without any real high-altitude climbing they were nothing in compared to the magnitude and grandeur of Everest.

- You see that?! Shouted Carl from above and pointed at the dark sky.

- The peak is right there! I stubbornly replied

- Want to turn around?

- It is right there, another hour and we are up!

- Are you sure?! If you’re not alright we have to head back!

I did not reply, I just continued climbing. It felt almost as an insult, who was he to doubt and question my physical shape and abilities? And besides that, we were so close. The peak was within my grasp.
.
For my whole life I had dreamt of this. I commanded my languid legs to take the last heavy steps and then I was there. At the top Carl was waiting for me with the broadest of grins on his face. We had made it. We had conquered the world and now stood on top of it. There was at this moment nothing above us. I looked around and everywhere the jagged Himalayan peaks rose just like the goddesses the native Sherpa’s saw them as. But the greatest goddess of them all, “Chomolungma”, mother of the universe, had been defeated. The euphoria of our success spread a distant but warm feeling throughout my freezing body and for a second it blocked out all pain and weariness. I thought of Tenzing Norgay and Edmund Hillary who in 1953 were the first men ever to reach this oasis of nothing. Even though the jet-winds violently raged around me I felt still. We took a couple of photos of each other and then we began our long journey down. The clock had already passed 4.30pm, we were late and in order to get down at all we had to get moving. To reach the summit was only the halfway mark.

The hours passed and we were making slow progress. I looked over my shoulder and saw the last rays of light quickly disappear behind the mighty Lhotse. The night came creeping and we were desperately struggling to reach lower altitude. I doggedly pushed on through the darkening evening. The wind was even more tormenting at this point. It had begun to snow and the visibility was approaching zero.

When I reached the Hillary step, the almost mythological 12 meter vertical rock wall that makes up the last major defense line of the mountain, I stopped and noticed that I had lost Carl higher up. I called out his name into the black night but without any success. A lump built up in my throat and I realized what this could mean. As the weather worsened even more I new that I had to go back up there. The oxygen level in my canister was diminishing but I mobilized my powers and headed back up into the dark. About 50 meters up I found Carl sitting down, apathetically looking down at his feet.

- What are you doing man?! I almost screamed to make myself heard through the constantly thrusting winds.
- I cant get any air, I was going to check my regulator, it seems to have stuck…

I walked around him to see if the regulator to see if the regulator to his oxygen mask had frozen stuck but when I bent over to check it I saw that the oxygen flow was cranked up to maximum and that it was not in fact stuck, the canister was empty. A couple of seconds went passed until I grasped the consequences of this. It then hit me, the reason he had such a easy way up was because had accidentally increased the supply of oxygen rate when changing canisters, at this high rate it gave him a lot of powers but did not last long at all. All possible scenarios and outcomes rushed through my head and it felt like the world was working against me. My oxygen was also getting low and I had to get him down passed the “step” where additional oxygen canisters were located. I helped him up and began supporting him down towards the “step”.

We reached the “step” a considerable long time later. I had never been so tired in my whole life but I could not stop now, not for anything. His oxygen depleted body did not posses the strength to climb down by his own power so I managed to tie the rope to his harness with my frostbitten hands. Then I began the difficult process of repelling him down the icy rocks- meter by meter. I slowly let the rope slide down through my hands lowering him towards the canisters containing the life saving gas. By now a full blizzard had developed and the furious wind bit my worn face with unflagging perseverance. I looked out into the fierce storm and pictured life back home. How the dew in the morning grass gently cools your feet in the mild morning sun and how easy life was. It felt so distant but yet so close. I lost focus. The rope slipped through my hands and rushed down. All muscles in my body tensed, I desperately tried to get a grip of the rope but the power of my frostbitten was not enough. The rope slacked. I immediately secured myself and hurried down the wall. I shouted for him but there was no response. In my mind the words “what have I done?” circulated over and over again.



When I got down to Carl he was surprisingly conscious. I breathed out and thought that maybe this time the gods were on my side. But then my eyes traveled down his body and spotted his legs. His right leg was horribly twisted and his suit had been ripped and left the leg bare with a stream of blood coloring the inside of his blue suit red. I shocked. My body froze and I could not move. Carl tried to form words but could not summon the power to make himself heard. I tried to stop the bleeding as well as I could during the circumstances. I stuffed his suit with an extra sweater I carried with me but that was everything I could do for my friend. He drifted out of consciousness. “I can still make it, I can get him down” my oxygen deprived brain kept telling me. I connected a new oxygen canister and started to drag him down the mountain. It was hopeless. I got nowhere. I collapsed by his side and floated away. Back to the real world, back home, away from this god forgotten place. Back to the blooming trees and the scent of summer. The world stood still, everything was so unreal. Why did we go here in the first place? Why did we choose to suffer?

When I woke up I was half covered in snow. I turned over to Carl to make contact but I did not get a response. He had succumbed and his bare, obnoxiously frostbitten face was completely empty. His mittens were taken off and in his ink black hands he had a photo of his family. I took the photo, his camera and then I rose and just continued down the mountain, away from the nightmare.

May 4, 2002
I walked along the rugged shoreline, the sun was higher now. The calmness of the world was still absolute and had no intensions of changing that. Everything was still but my mind. The two years had not made it easier. It tormented me. Everyone always, every single time told me that it was not in fact my fault, that I cant hold myself responsible for what happened. Why did not anyone tell me the truth? I was the one who wanted to push for the summit, I was the one who should have realized that something was wrong, I was the one who dropped him and I was the one who could not save him. It is obvious for everyone and to deny it is pathetical. I know and so does everyone else.