Life

I stood in front of the endlessly long train track. This is where she died and life was unbearable after that. I just had to lay on the track and wait for the train, then it would all end. I looked at my watch, it was 20.45, the train was supposed to come at 20.55, I just had to wait for ten minutes. I laid down on the track and looked up at the sky, which was covered with countless bright stars. I closed my eyes and remembered that night one year ago.

“ Cecilia, stop it! Get away from there, it is not funny!”

“ You always say that you love me more than anything, so would you? Would you save me if a train came right now? “ She said.

“ Yes, I would. Okay? I have answered your question. Now get away from there and let’s go home.”

You could hear the distant sound of the train coming closer and closer. But she still stood there, smiling at me.

“ The train is coming, are you going to save me or not?”

I looked at the direction that the sound was coming from and could see the lights from it far away between the trees. I got on the track quickly and grabbed Cecilia’s hand trying to get her away from there. I could not move her, it was like someone had tied her feet to the track. The train was coming closer and closer and I could not get her away from there.

“What are you doing? Let’s go now!”

She did not say anything, she just looked at me smiling the same way that she always used to. But something in her eyes were different this time. The happiness that used to be in her eyes was replaced with something else, they were empty, and there were no signs of life in them. I understood that she was serious and I could not understand why she was doing this. The sound of the train was so loud that it was going to hit us any minute now. I was still trying to get her away from there but it was impossible to make her move. All of a sudden I felt her pushing me, I fell to the ground next to the track as the train passed by, Cecilia could not be seen anywhere, she had died.

As I laid there on the track I remembered the way she used to tell a joke. She used to laugh hysterically as she told it, and I always used to tease her for laughing at her own jokes even though they were not funny, but I always ended up laughing at them anyway. One time when we had my best friend, John, over for dinner, she started telling the classic tomato ketchup joke, to lighten up the mood, and as usual she started laughing when nobody else did. John and I looked at her laughing hysterically at her own joke, and we looked at each other and busted out laughing too, just because it was so boring. John said, “I do not know how you do it Cecilia, all your jokes suck but I still end up laughing every time.”

John was my oldest friend. We met when we were four years old at kindergarten, and after that we had always stayed friends. We went to school together, played football together and just hung out and did absolutely nothing together. My mum always used to say that it was like John and I were glued together, whenever we got a chance to play together, we did, and we always had a blast.

When I think about my mum, I always smile. She was a woman filled with energy and happiness. When I was sad, she was always there for me. I remember the smell of her perfume; it smelled like vanilla, it was sweet. She always made me feel secure and that everything was going to be okay.

I remember summer nights when I was a kid, playing football with my friends. There were no worries in life then. I loved the feeling when I was running so fast after the ball that I was out of breath but at the same time feeling the adrenaline in my body, making me run faster and faster trying to get the ball.

I remember taking a walk in the park on a beautiful autumn day. There were no leaves on the trees, they had fallen to the ground, covering it with beautiful shades of red. When taking a deep breath I could feel my lungs being filled with cold fresh air. I could hear the birds singing and feel the sun warming up my face.

I found myself lying on the track with a big smile on my face. The sound of the train made me realize where I was. I started breathing faster and faster, I had to get out of there, I could not go through with it. I tried to get up but something was holding me back to the track. My coat was stuck, I tried to take the jacket off, but the train was coming closer and closer, the noise was becoming louder and louder, I could not think, the train was just a few meters away. The lights blinded me. Everything went dark. I opened my eyes and found myself next to the track, just the way a year ago, with the train passing by next to me. I took a deep breath and I was happy. All the memories made me realize that life is filled with happiness even though there are some rough times, and that life is not so bad after all, in fact, it is pretty great.