tisdag 10 maj 2011



Daniel wondered if Daesu’s sperm had been affected; if his children would have twelve toes or only one eye. He remembered hearing about the Monju cover-up. Now it was Fukushima. God really hates the Japanese, he thought. Then there was Nagasaki and Hiroshima of course. He supposed that Americans must hate them even more.



He had become a pusher; not the American type that fished for junkies on the streets of black neighborhoods, but the Japanese type that prevented bottlenecks from disrupting the daily schedule of brokers at the Tokyo Stock Exchange with those of the NASDAQ. He shoved a white-collar worker on his way to the cubicle farm into the subway car, although it was on the brink of bursting. But it would not surprise him if a dozen more of them could be packaged. The disheveled Daesu, his fellow pusher, gestured to him to come and help on the other side of the door. Daesu was at risk of being fired. He said something in Japanese to Daniel. The only Japanese words that Daniel knew were arigato and sake, but he did not need to ponder over the meaning in Daesu’s Japanese gibberish. He knew that Daesu wanted him to wear glasses because his eyesight did apparently not meet the Japanese standard. Japanese people probably knew a lot about eyes, Daniel thought. They always kept them open; probably to compensate for their width. In addition, they used that word, eye, as a prefix for every single technological object, whether it be a pod, a pad or a phone. Daniel grabbed another Japenese in a business suit by the arm, while desperately trying to fit through the door. As he pushed him, he inconspicuously twisted his arm in such a way that elicited a faint yelp from the Jap’s mouth. Japanese people never screamed. Maybe Americans did not have the eyes, but they were world champions at screaming, whether it be Superbowl, political rallies or drunken fights. Japanese people were too humble for such antics. Ask them how their kids are doing in school and they’ll say: “The principal is considering expulsion.” In fact, the kid is on his way to develop a new robot dog that will revolutionize the Japanese toy industry. Ask the same question in America and the situation is usually reversed.



3 kommentarer:

  1. I'm assuming that Daniel is American (or not Japanese anyhow). Good opening, very personal with Daniel's thoughts. Why does he have this view on the Japanese?

    Interested in seeing where you take this.

    SvaraRadera
  2. I like the mix of thinking and actual action. And the cultural comparisons that you fit it. I think it's really good, but it feels like you leave some things unanswered, like why is Daniel in Japan, and what's wrong with Daesu, but that's good too because it keeps the reader reading, to find out. But my tip would be to quite soon after this give more information about the main character Daniel.

    SvaraRadera
  3. I like your hardboiled tone and I think the narrators unusual occupation makes for a great scene.

    It's a bit too unclear what has happened in the first paragraph for this to work as a lead-in. Also, I think you spend too much time generalizing about Japanese vs. American national character. That's boring and takes the story nowhere. Keep things happening instead.

    SvaraRadera